Safe
by Crystal Jaganshi
Summary: Shepard and Garrus converse about her new relationship with Kaiden, and she realizes that what she has and what she needs aren't exactly the same. ME1


Safe

Commander Jeyne Shepard said her usual "I should go" to Ashley and turned towards the Mako, her favorite turian hidden from view as he worked underneath the vehicle. She could feel herself smiling already, only halfway across the room, and she relaxed as she neared him. For some reason, no matter what was going on, whether another horribly wrong Cerberus base was discovered or another unexpected tough encounter with the Geth, talking with the turian always raised her spirits. That's why she saved him for last.

"Hello, Shepard," his multi-toned voice called from underneath.

She hadn't even announced herself and he knew it was her. Of course he did, he always knew.

"Vakarian," she responded warmly. "How bad is it this time?" she joked.

"Well, if it was between the rouge AI on Luna we just shut down or climbing up a mountain in this thing-" He paused as he rolled out from underneath, his head poking out with that wide turian grin of his, "I'd take the AI."

Jeyne crossed her arms and smirked at him, "Be careful what you wish for, Vakarian."

He chuckled lightly as he pushed himself out from underneath the Mako and stood. Jeyne handed him the towel and he wiped his talons. Relaxing, she rested her elbows on the console and leaned forward. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, she couldn't count how many times she did so, laughing and talking, but as the humor in his eyes fell, something else, something she couldn't place took over.

Frowning, she asked, "Something wrong, Garrus?"

He stared at her for a moment and his piercing blue gaze almost stopped her heart. …Because she was nervous about what was wrong… not nervous about him looking at her… examining her… Jeyne steadied her nerves and was about to inquire again when Garrus turned his head, his platelets flickering.

"So," he started slowly. "I heard the," he raised his hand and bent his talons twice, to imitate air quotes she supposed, "scuttlebutt that you and Alenko are together."

Jeyne's good spirits disappeared. She didn't know why, but talking with Garrus about Kaiden was… wrong. Just hearing him say what was true, and what she shouldn't care about, made her anxious inside.

"Ah… yeah. You know he's… you know." Damn, Jeyne, of all the times for her speech superpowers to fail.

Garrus merely shrugged his shoulders and placed the towel back on the console before leaning against the Mako, crossing his arms. "Not what I expected but congratulations."

Jeyne narrowed her eyes. "Not what you expected?"

Garrus was looking away, aimlessly at the floor, about to respond when he snapped upward to attention, stiff. "Sorry, Commander, I shouldn't have said that. It's not my place."

"Relax, Garrus. You're my friend, I want to hear your opinion," she said. Did she really? She hated talking about Kaiden with him. She should just talk about guns. Garrus liked guns. She could talk about his Volkov rifle. He loved that rifle. She almost smiled just thinking about how he acted like a five year old on Christmas Day when she handed it to him.

"He's…" But they were not talking about guns. "He's just not someone I thought was your type."

Well that was a surprise. Jeyne stared at him curiously. "And what do you know about my type?"

"Alenko is too… serious. Way too serious." Garrus' tone was nonchalant but he still wouldn't meet her gaze.

"He's nice," Jeyne protested.

That got the turian's attention. His blue eyes came back to her and she sucked in her breath until he spoke again. "Nice?"

She exhaled, sighing, as she shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah, he's nice."

"That's it?" He asked skeptically.

Jeyne frowned and pulled herself off the console, crossing her arms again. "Yes, he's nice. What's wrong with that?"

Garrus looked away again, his platelets fluttering nervously. He sighed and suddenly looked her in the eye. "Shepard, I-I'm sorry to say it but it honestly sounds like you're talking about a fish. Fish are nice. A whole tank full of fish are nicer. Just that: nice."

Jeyne blinked at him, unsure of how to respond. Was she talking about Kaiden that casually? She didn't mean to, he was kind, gentle, knew what to say when…

Nice.

But Garrus wasn't leaning against the Mako anymore. He moved with a certain fluidity that only his species possessed, the smooth movement of predator marking his prey. He moved opposite of her to the other side of the console and he was close enough that she could smell the grease from the Mako, the smoky residue from a gun firing, and a metallics bite that she could almost taste. Her heart almost stopped again as his subharmonics rumbled for a moment, a sign he was thinking. Then he grinned at her.

"You don't need nice, Shepard. You need someone who can make you laugh."

"Laugh?" she said incredulously. Garrus chuckled and she gulped, unsure of why she was so nervous. If they could just stop talking about her and Kaiden, just stop… But the way he was looking at her, his incredible blue eyes bright and lit with something that could only mean trouble, kept her quiet just so she could enjoy that spark in his eyes.

"You're too serious. You need someone who can make you laugh, and relax," he chuckled.

"What are you talking about, Vakarian?" That was all she could think of to say.

"Look at you. Arms crossed, the famous glare, and a stiff air of superiority. Before you know it," He leaned in so close Jeyne's breath hitched, "you'll have wrinkles."

Jeyne gasped in half horror, half shock. "Garrus! How- I do NOT have wrinkles!" she spat. "And do you know about wrinkles anyway?!"

But Garrus only laughed, his voice and sub-vocals swirling together in a harmonious ringing. "I know enough," he practically sang, "But seriously, Shepard, I have you covered. You see, you're a terrible driver."

"You are not helping and I am not a terrible driver!" She exclaimed. What was with him tonight? Was that supposed to be funny?

"No, really. Every time we go out for some random drop on a planet, we all pick straws and whoever get the two shortest ones have to go."

"You always come with me," Jeyne said bluntly.

"Well… I may intentionally pick the short straw. After all, someone has to cover your six," he replied a little too proudly. "But seriously, we draw lots. And then myself and the unfortunate soul hope that the trip doesn't end in the Mako vaulting backwards off a cliff, rolling over on itself, burnt in thresh maw acid, or just end up destroyed in general."

He shrugged nonchalantly and glanced casually across the room, pausing as she stared at him speechless. Then he leaned in and whispered, "According to Wrex, anyway."

"Hey! Are you pyjaks talking about me?" Wrex yelled from the other side of the hangar. "You better not be talking about me!"

Jeyne tried to hold it in. She really, really did. But with Wrex shouting from across the room, Ash looking completely lost, and that twinkle in Garrus' eyes, the one that he does when he knows he's right, she couldn't keep it in any longer. She burst, her loud, bright laughter filling the large empty space. She laughed so hard it hurt and tears began to form in her eyes. And there was Garrus, beaming at her so proud, so… handsomely. This was just like him, lifting her spirits again.

"See?" He said, when she finally calmed down a little. "Now you're relaxed and that's when you do your best thinking, Shepard. I've seen it. So, you need someone who can make you laugh."

Jeyne grinned slyly and leaned forward on the console again. "You know, Garrus,"

And then she stopped. She stopped because the words had already formed and it was too late to take them back from her mind, too late to take the thoughts away. Far, far too late to keep her from recognizing what exactly it was that made talking with him so special.

_You know, Garrus, you make me laugh._

Jeyne coughed, "You know," she started again and plastered a smile on her face, "nice isn't a bad thing."

Garrus frowned, sensing the abrupt shift within her. He looked away and headed back to the front of the Mako. "It isn't nice, Shepard. It's safe," he said a little too quietly. He paused, tilting his head, and Jeyne wanted to see the brightness in his eyes return. But it didn't. "But like I said, it isn't my business. If he makes you happy, then that's good."

It didn't make her feel good.

In an attempt to make everything seem normal, she teased, "I'm going to make you pay for making fun of my driving, by the way. In fact, I think you can sit right up front next to me on our next outing."

Garrus' groan came muffled from underneath the Mako. "I told you, it was Wrex!" he called up. She laughed as she turned and walked to the elevator, waving off the krogan as she passed. She had a smile on her face when she entered but as soon as the doors closed and the elevator started its slow ascent, her stomach dropped.

The elevator doors opened too soon and she ran into Kaiden, his face lightening as he saw her. Jeyne swallowed and forced a smile, even though his light chatter wasn't as pleasant anymore, and his voice seemed to wash away behind the thrumming harmonics of another.

_It's not nice. It's safe._

She didn't want safe, Jeyne decided. She never liked safe.

But right now, safe was all she could handle.


End file.
